Morbius

Biochemist Michael Morbius tries to cure himself of a rare blood disease that has rendered him handicapped his entire life, but he inadvertently infects himself with a form of vampirism instead and must fight for control of himself.

After lots of delays and unconvincing trailers, Morbius pulls off the impossible — it’s even worse than expected. It’s one of the worst superhero films to date and one of the worst films I’ve ever seen in a movie theater. Academy Award winner Jared Leto continues a streak of subpar acting choices with a miscast, creepy turn as Michael Morbius, who’s supposed to be a social outcast doctor turned hero the way Benedict Cumberbatch so convincingly was in Doctor Strange, but Leto brings forth no charm or charisma and actually comes off as an unlikable hero who’s distant from the audience for the whole runtime. Matt Smith also delivers a horrible performance with a character you can’t stand and whose every move is predictable. Adria Arjona and Jared Harris try their best but are stuck with poor writing that doesn’t serve their skills or characters any well. Speaking of which, the characters’ morals, decisions, and conflicts feel so hollow they’re almost non-existent and simply there to check off boxes on the list of superhero origin clich├ęs.

The movie attempts to be darker than the Marvel Cinematic Universe films in the main Tom Holland Spider-Man continuity, but unlike The Batman, another dark superhero film this year, Morbius has no energy, tone or clear objective to exist. The CGI makes the fights hard to watch, especially the vampire look and powers which look like images from a video game. The action is done in a way where it’s impossible to tell what’s going on and the lighting and score are dark and gloomy, sucking any life out of this sad movie that feels more like a first-draft concept idea than an actual movie made for an audience’s entertainment. But it’s not only embarrassingly bad to watch — it commits the unforgivable sin of being boring. Although at 1 hour and 44 minutes, it’s one of Marvel’s shortest movies ever, it feels so much slower than any other superhero film and I was begging for it to end. There comes a point where even when you find yourself drifting off and the movie has become beyond saving, it still finds a way to outdo itself and become simply unbearable and laughable in the final act. Even the bland Venom movies (which are set in the same universe as Morbius) have had aspects to offer some fans of the source material, but to any fans of comic-book movies, vampire movies, or just good movies, please spare yourself — the only thing you’ll get out of this movie is the desire to forget it immediately after you watch it.